Talking
Communication is the basis for everything on this site. If people are talking to each other, then anything is possible because understanding and trust is being built.
The first thing to say is that I am not a trained counsellor. What I am is someone who spends a lot of time listening to people talk about their lives and about things which concern them.
Talking works! I'll tell you why... it's a process of shining a light on all the things inside you, all the things that are jumbled up and confused, and all adding up to worry, guilt, unhappiness or just frustration and discontent. It's life.
By talking with someone, you're able to bring those thoughts out in a slightly more ordered way. A way that tends not to happen when they just swirl round in our heads. That's why writing things down helps some people too. They don't have to make sense at this stage, they just need to be brought out and aired.
Over time your mind then begins to work on the things you have been talking and thinking about, and very slowly some things start to make some sense.
That's why counselling is about listening skills more than advice. The solution is in you, because it's your thoughts and your life and your choices. But some help in that process can make a lot of difference. Having someone to listen, and to talk to, and maybe move you on when you are stuck.
We were born to communicate, we are social animals and talking, like touch, is a natural and essential part of who we are. Without it we are less than complete. We can get on with our lives, but not in the way we were meant too. That's why people who live in the West can often have lots of material possessions, but still feel isolated and unheard and find themselves unhappy. Often people living in poorer parts of the world show a contentment that seems strange, until you see how interlinked their lives are with extended families in close proximity... and lots and lots of talking!
So whatever you need to talk about, from relationships to your deepest darkest sexual fantasies, I enjoy listening and sharing. Not being a formal counsellor means I have the advantage of not being constrained or limited in what I can do or say. But I still consider it my complete responsibility to respect your privacy.
I am someone who wont judge you, is impartial, confidential and very open minded. So if you want someone to talk to...